Thursday, June 04, 2009

This few days i've been thinking alot...and i mean real alot...i've try finding things so that i wont be able to think but..it doesnt seem to help a little bit at all~ my heart just keep getting twisted well...is this wad they call retribution? after wad i have done to her.. maybe........................i'm starting to regret~?

b4 i went to bed..i almost got this urge to msg her...i really wanted to...but somehow i told myself not to..cause i thought of our past and everything...and eventually i just put my hp on my side table and went to slp~ i really don noe wads wrong with me....perhaps cause i saw her picture at facebook dats y.. but bu zhi bu jue...i just type her name and her profile just appear...but as hers is somewad private..i couldnt see much...just her profile picture..and that was enough for me to have all this thinking stuff~

i know that if i suddenly do msg her..she will be wondering y i did...and my birthday is just 3 weeks time.. just don wan to give her a wrong impression that perhaps we have a chance to be together again.....the worst is i even ask my self this " how will i react if i her profile picture was with a guy and i found out that she's attached..?" i really wonder how will i react to dat....sigh~

Quite a torment for me.... i'm moving forward but...u know~ its just with progress....well..not dat i'm expecting immediately progress..but...i'm happy with my life now...i said this to her 5 mths ago... but am i happy now? hmm happy..maybe not the word ba...perhaps is lonely? always trying to be strong and happy...but deep down sometimes i wish someone is dere for me......not there i'm despo for a gf or wad...i always thing that if have means will have de ba...so...i'm just taking it slowly...just hope that this time round things will be much more smoother than previous~

whats love to me? its the feeling when u wake up everyday and hope that the first person u see....the first sms u see from and the last thing u hear from...is actually from ur love one...

{ i was alone at 12:06 pm}

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Tuesday, June 02, 2009

how i wish my holidays could be longer...as in my leave ba... was practically not working since last Thurs till ytd...cause of my bestie wedding and my short cruise getaway......and cruise was fun its been many many donkey years since i last went and everything seems so different now or maybe perhaps i shld say i'm lagging back le..=)

hmm my bestie wedding was a successful one...was happy for him off course...i wonder shld i be saying this but somehow...someone dat day caught my attention ba~ well maybe i say its a small crush? actually this started long ago..but hmmm its kinda difficult for me to just say it out like this also..so ya....i always blive in fate..but this time i wont just sit and let fate just happen i will try to make it happen ba..but i don really don how to start either...kinda lost..but i think that if things are meant to be...they will de...

Its been a mths since she contacted me...i guess things are back to normal le ba..though at times i still do think of her but is not because i wanna get back together or wad...its just comes too natural at times...but still i'm not looking back...cause i see a small glismp of light in front of me...and i shall jut keep moving forward......as for my past....it will be just....memories...

{ i was alone at 12:33 pm}

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