Tuesday, May 19, 2009
4 mths of singlehood...well i guess things are more or less settled...its back to the usual me......or isnt it? hmm though i feel i'm single but still i feel dat..something is still hanging on? well..at times i feel lonely..esp when i take a bus ride home after work..or i drive along the expressway alone at nite.. cause i'm so used to having some1 by my side whenever i'm doing all those...i finally get wad i wan but eventually.... i seem to lose something dearer...but this is wad i wan..and i shall not regret it...at least not for now ba...
My best friend gonna get married later this month...off course i feel happy for him..=) but honestly speaking, dere's this little small part of me which i somehow felt upset, envy and at the same time wonder.....will be like them someday? whereby i can find a parter and spend the rest of my life with......
I always thought finding a parter is perhaps not dat difficult...but finding one that is right and able to really get along well with u is really very difficult..or perhaps i nv try hard enough? its just like finding a needle in the hay.
currently i'm just going abt my daily life....but at times i got to admit..i wonder how is she doing? cause i knew she was very upset after our broke up....she couldnt accept it..and the aftermath....but i know that if i turn back at that time..i might just get myself more misery from the relationship...its not that she is no good..or wadsoeva...she's a good gf all round...but i guess we werent meant for each other..no matter how hard we try..we end up having clashes in one way or another...she deserved a better bf ba.. and i hope she will find some1 better..as for me...i'm the bad guy....i really didnt wan things to end up this way... dats y maybe wad i'm going thru now is perhaps my retribution...being alone~ like i said this is all my own doing........i can only move ahead and not back.
somehow i will just keep to that.....I'm sorry...if u ever read this someday which i doubt u will....the times we had together is a memoriable and unfogettable one....i will just keep dat as part of my memories........
{ i was alone at 2:18 pm}
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